death & all her friends
A few Saturdays ago- insomnia got the better of me. I got tired of counting the dots on the ceiling. I tumbled out of bed early. I washed my face. I brushed my teeth. No coffee. And I absentmindedly just drove to the coast. On that particular morning, the visibility of the air stretched far enough for Etna to appear beyond the water. And I watched her on the horizon- smouldering quietly. She was still- but you could sense her impending violence from a distance; the potential destruction she could leave in her wake at any given moment. Intrinsically restless. Lately, I keep being reminded of how privileged my position in life supposedly is now. Everyone says that I'm glowing- that the air about me is lighter. But, I have heard this all before- last year. Before it went to shit. My sense of self had decayed beyond recognition. It was all very disappointing: everything imploded. What I thought I wanted proved to be the very thing that almost killed me. It was t...